I hate all girls vehemently.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I checked into jail on foursquare
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm always down for nudity.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
