Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
