playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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