i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
