Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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