This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
