I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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