She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
