In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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