and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize