Pappa wants mamma naked
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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