bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
When are your genitals available?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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