did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
