just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Drunk is not a location!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
