The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
