I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
