low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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