your thong is hanging out like whoa
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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