is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
