he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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