it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
