I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize