Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
