he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize