am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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