Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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