Who did Billy Mays play for?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
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