i just made my gag reflex go away.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
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