He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
