all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
