my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
