He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
vagina is talking i cant
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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