Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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