Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
