I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
