Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
