The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
