After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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