He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
