Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
