after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
