How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
