The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
