Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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