i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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