Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Quick, to the slutcave!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize