Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
