can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
