Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
