Ketchup is God's man juice
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
