everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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