I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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