so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
