Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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