So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
