I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
