he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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