My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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