VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
zippers are such a cool invention
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize