she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
