How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
