Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
