New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
