Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
