if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
