so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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