well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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