A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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