didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I would ride that face into the sunset
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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