this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
