im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
