Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
