i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
