Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
