I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
