Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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