youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
